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YOU'RE LOVED JUST THE WAY YOU ARE |
They say you have to hit bottom before you can recover. I was no exception. For me, bottom was Easter of 2000 and I was a tender age 21. My holiday was spent in an oversized cloth gown sipping lukewarm soup in a sterile cafeteria. For the first time I intimately knew loneliness, emptiness, and helplessness as I envisioned my family gathering around the dining room table in Iowa without me. I realized this vicious cycle that had consumed my world for seven years would continue to ravage my body and spirit until I confronted the true issues. Prior to being admitted for my fourth hospitalization, I hadn’t eaten a solid, well-balanced meal in months. My vital signs were dangerously low and anorexia and bulimia had begun to slowly, yet violently, eat through my organs. At one point during my illness, the doctors gave me two weeks to live but I knew that something, somewhere was pushing me onward. I knew that I had a purpose in life, but I was desperately lacking the sense of direction and stability I needed to understand that purpose. When I was released from the security of the hospital and sent back into the big, bad world, I was aware of the steps I would have to take in order to stay healthy. The one that took precedence was finding a healthy mental and spiritual outlook. Because I was un-churched, I had no idea if my personal spiritual beliefs fell in line with any specific denomination. I had regularly driven by a beautiful, large white church on Inwood at Northwest Highway and decided to start there. Truthfully, I was terrified to walk through the doors of Lovers Lane. I assumed that I would be judged for my religious ignorance and condemned for the way I had treated my body. To my surprise, I was warmly welcomed into the sanctuary on that day and into the membership two months later. On my second visit, I met a smiling woman named Suzanne who has since become my Dallas “surrogate” mother. I confided in her that I had never learned how to pray. She squeezed my hand and told me to have a conversation with God. To this day I am grateful for that patience and guidance that Lovers Lane continues to show me. As I became more confident at Lovers Lane, I told others about my struggles. They embraced me for my courage and asked me to share my story with various youth and Sunday School groups. The church also supports me in my pursuits to implement an eating disorders support group within its 12-Step Ministry program. Attending Lovers Lane Church has become a gentle, prodding reminder that I was starving for much more than food. In fact, my church has filled a void in my life with which no other hunger can compete. This large church family brings meaning and joy to my life. I now have a passion for helping others as Lovers Lane has helped me. We would love to hear from you!
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